Afraid
by Peach Mango Pie
Summary: Robin admits a fear he's had for some time involving one of the Titans. RobRae fic


I don't own Teen Titans

Updated summary and pairing (as pointed out by one of the reviews) - sorry I missed that one

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 **AFRAID**

(one shot)

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"Everyone's afraid of something." Cyborg said, reacting to some random TV commercial.

"Except for Robin." Beastboy said, "He's not afraid of anything, isn't that right, Rob?"

All eyes were on me while I poured cream on my coffee. It didn't seem like it was start of an intellectual, let alone sensible topic, but the lack of eventfulness these past few days have probably gotten under our skin. I decided to grace that question with a careless answer.

"Sure I do,"

"Really? What is that you fear?" asked Starfire.

Almost immediately, my eyes fell on Raven, and the three switched looks between me and her.

"What? Me?" she asked in her sweetly raspy voice.

I merely shrugged.

"Seriously? You're afraid of Raven?" Beastboy asked, nearly toppling a pitcher of juice in the process.

Raven looked at me intently.

Underneath the shadows of her hood I could make out a confused pair of lavender orbs, gazing at me and waiting for answers I probably didn't have. At least, not in a way that'll be... understandable.

I stood and attempted to dismiss the subject by taking my cup with on a meditative walk around the room as if I was deep in thought. "I guess."

Her face crumpled a bit, and she continued to eat her salad carrying an air of agitation. I instantly felt guilty. For thinking the expression just made her more adorable, and for realizing I was the cause of it.

"That'd make sense." Cyborg said, "I mean, you do love the grim and creepy, don't ya?"

"The artistic kinds, yes," she said solemnly, "But I don't get what's there to be scared of about that."

"Uh, a lot?" our stupid green boy answered. The chill in the air was indicative of the girl's unappreciative reaction.

"In terms of fighting, friend Raven is most formidable. I am certain she if feared greatly by the criminal underworld." Starfire stated. Raven gave a side glance at the princess, clearly less resentful than the previous comment. Star beamed at the empath.

"And by most of Jump's citizens."

I wished Beastboy would just shut up sometimes. The look I gave must've been obvious. My bestfriend saw through it and threw a piece of fruit at me, which I managed to catch with my mouth.

"Also, I don't think you'd be able to beat her in a fight, Robin. No offense." our young changeling continued.

"True, you wouldn't stand a chance against her. Got too many tricks up her sleeve."

I agree with Cyborg, but it was from the point I had in mind.

A year ago I would've confidently denied having fear anything.

Since forming the Titans, I saw many facets of fear - my friends getting hurt, my weakness getting the most of me, Jump City burned to the ground by an enemy we can't defeat. Over time I out grew that fear. Our bond became my strength, our closeness became my security, and us sticking together became the armor that gave hope to this City where people grew prosperous. I found courage amidst that fear, and from this family I've learned to cherish.

Among them, one particular person, in her mysterious charm and beauty, have inadvertently shown me a new face of fear.

Even as I left the table and entered the balcony Raven continued to be the centre of attention among the group. Something she never enjoyed. Talks on her hobbies, her mannerisms, her favorites and peeves made the table loud, and provoked a retort or two from the shaded sorcerer. I watched them from afar, relishing the moment. And the sight of her. She could make so many expressions with that seemingly stoic face. Others don't seem to notice, but I never fail to see it.

I've actually learned to love it. To love her. Each and every part of her.

She caught me staring and glared. The look she gave told me she wasn't done with me yet.

"Look, she's glaring at Robbing!"

Beastboy pointed out like a child among a pile of rubbish having found something interesting. Raven broke her own stare and stood up to take her dishes by the sink. Knowing her she could only take so much embarrassment before surrendering to her room. I didn't mean to put her on the spot. I'll apologize later.

I just hope she wouldn't give too much thought into this.

Before she could vanish behind the doors of her room, the system suddenly rang. In seconds we were at the lobby, checking the details of the situation.

Robbery. National Bank. A dozen armed men. Armored car. Couple of hostages. No rigged devices.

We didn't have to say anything. I gave them one look, unable to help myself from grinning, and took off. Beastboy in a form of a large eagle flew out together with the two girls. Cyborg's new 'baby' and my own bike began to burn the road. Pretty soon all of us were there in what felt like a split second.

"You guys are about to make a deposit to the National City Jail." I said, more of a distraction than an actual statement.

Civilians were all on the ground, none of them hurt, all of them frightened. Those who were standing wore facemasks and carried automatic riffles. They gave me a second's look, then laughed. I've gone used to that - them mocking a short 16 year old kid in a mask, single handedly blocking their escape route.

As always, they didn't laugh too long.

A window on the far side of the lobby broke, and a streak of yellow-green light flew in. They all turned to it, guns pointed to the source, but it was gone.

Along with 3 of them.

"Where'd they - ah!"

Another trio vanished, swallowed by the floor that suddenly turned ethereal and black.

Down to 6.

They didn't find it funny anymore. One of them began to stomp forward, gun pointed at me, ready to force their way out.

"Alright, what the hell is going on!"

"This is what's going on."

Suspended from the ceiling was Cyborg, who came pummeling down at two of them. On that cue I pulled my staff and struck the gun off the biggest guy's hand. Before the rest could fire, a large, green gorilla tore their weapons away from their hands, and grabbed hold of their heads. They tried kicking out of it, but Beastboy had them good. In front of me, the big guy pulled a knife from inside his shirt and began to attack. He was fast for his size. I took my sweet time blocking and evading just for the fun of it, seeing as Cyborg already had the remaining crook detained on the ground.

I gave one full swing and disarmed him. Another blow to the back of the knee with a side-kick and he was kneeling on the ground. A quick summersault landing on the back of his neck finally knocked him out.

The people around knew they were out of danger. They began to recover, still a bit edgy, but clearly grateful. Starfire flew from the broken window, and that's when the applause began. Several seniors came forward to shake our hands, and squeeze Beastboy's cheeks

The ground by my feet opened up, and out popped Raven's share of bounty, two grown men shaking like a leaf, pale as a ghost as if having seen one. One of them might've even wet his pants.

Cyborg and Beastboy began to laugh hard at the sight of them, and so did a couple of the people there.

"Hey, had anyone seen Ra-"

The all too familiar trigger of a hammer cut me short, followed immediately by a loud bang. I turned around, and saw one of the robbers, clearly pinned down but still struggling for a fight, a smoking .5 caliber pistol in hand.

The gun was pointed at me, and it's funnel had just been emptied.

A ghostly, clawed hand materialized above the man's hand and struck him unconscious.

The entire bank became quiet. I looked down and saw a bullet tipping the 'R' on my chest. A blanket of blackness had cushioned its trajectory, saving me from death.

Like silent wisp a young hooded girl phased through from ground. She looked at me intently before snapping the bullet away with a flick of her magic. She heaved a heavy sigh as if she was holding her breath, and then flew up, straight through the ceiling enveloped by a raven's form, and disappeared. The local authorities arriving shook us all from what felt like a trance.

The next few minutes were about booking the robbers and filling in the cops with all the details they need. After that, with an anti-vigilante act still being passed, we took our leave, our presence erased completely in official record, with every single cop in the force tipping their hats to us.

It was time to go home. Except we were still one member short.

While everyone else was wondering where she was, I knew perfectly well where she'd be.

"You guys go ahead," I told them, throwing Beastboy the keys to my bike, "I'll go fetch her."

They all gave knowing looks amongst one another before taking off. My green friend was all too enthusiastic to once again ravage the streets of Jump City with my ride. At this point, I couldn't care less what he does with it.

We were still in the middle of a busy street, so I took my leave beneath the shadows skillfully, before gunning a harpoon on top of an abandoned building, vanishing, just like how Bruce taught me to.

I reached what looked like an unfinished floor filled with grey, powdery concrete walls and beams protruding from the ground. The coast was visible across the entire place, and it gave quite the scene. As the sun crawls down the horizon, it cast a shadow of a small, hooded figure, sitting by the ledge with her knees pressed on her chest. I walked towards her and found a place by her side, letting my feet dangle from what looked like a 30 story fall.

"Thanks for saving me back there." I said finally, "I know I can be way over my head sometimes. It's a good thing you're always..."

"Did you see everyone's faces?" she asked suddenly. The crisp tone of her voice always felt like ice, but surprisingly, it never fails to warm my chest when I hear her. Especially when she speaks so close to me.

"Um, they..."

"They all looked scare. Amazed, but really scared. Right when they saw me appear and fly away."

"I'm pretty sure they weren't..."

"I don't really care." she cut me off again. "Part of me thinks they really should be scared of me. I am dangerous and creepy after all."

Nothing in her eyes gave me a clue if she was genuinely indifferent, or simply forcing herself to believe her own words. But when she looked at me, I became certain she meant it.

I froze on the spot like a spell was cast on me.

"But somehow," she continued, "I don't like the idea that you would be scare of me too."

"Oh, that." I responded, like it was the last thing I was expecting of her, except it was the very topic deep down I wanted to ponder on. With her. "Could we, you know, forget about it? I mean, it's not really a big deal."

"Tell me you're not afraid of me." she demanded, voice raising slightly with urgency, "Tell me you were just messing with me."

I finally managed to break away from looking at her, and set my sights on the disappearing sun. "I wasn't messing with you, though it's not exactly the kind of 'being afraid' that you probably have in mind."

The fact that I didn't exactly deny it surely confused her. I saw it on her face. She wanted me to refute what I implied earlier. I didn't even directly declare it, but somehow she was deeply affected.

"What does that mean?" she asked softly.

"Nothing. Let's go home, okay? I'll treat you to some grub."

"Darn it, Richard." her voice trembled in what was clearly a surge of emotion being restrained. She drew her hood back and placed her hand on mine, "No one knows me like you do, and I'd like to think I know you just as much. For you to be scared of me, I..."

My heart broke when I saw the first tear drop crawl down her cheek. I caused that. I made her cry. My chest began to ache terribly. And suddenly the deathly fall down was so inviting, if only to punish myself.

She squeezed her eyes shut, and tears flushed out of her lids. "I can't bear this, you being afraid of me. I just can't. What is it you're not telling me?"

"Raven..."

"I will change." she said, eyes wide with an intense desperation. "I will stop wearing black, and listening to depressing songs. I-I'll never lock myself in my room again. I'll play video games with you and Cyborg and Beastboy. I'll go do all sorts of girl stuff with Starfire and..."

Desperation indeed.

By the way the light in her eyes were flickering like candle fire, I could tell the tirade of random changes of personality and behavior would continue.

But as I encased both her hands in mine and lifted them up and kissed them, I was able to shut her up. After pressing my lips on her small, soft fingers for a few seconds longer, I looked up at her and gave half a smile.

"Deep breath, Rae." I said, almost in a whisper. "Deep breath." She blinked at me a couple of times as if taking hold of something in the moment. Exchanging between taking air in and out, the redness on her cheeks began to disperse. As she calmed, her entire feature relaxed. The wind took a stronger turn and blew the strands of her hair across her face like curtains on a portrait.

She's breathtakingly beautiful.

Her blush seemed to have been transferred to my face. My cheeks started to feel hot. I almost let her go, seeing how I managed to put myself and her in an embarrassing situation. But I kept hold of her. I shuffled on my spot for a bit so I was facing her, feet twisted in a lotus. She did the same, and curled her legs beneath her.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to upset you." I began, "I'm not afraid of you, Rae. But when it comes to you, there are so many things I become scared of."

"Like what?" she asked, like a child trying to understand.

I was still hesitating. But the sight of her crying got bore too deeply in my head, and I don't want to see that again. Ever.

Inhaling one full air of confidence, I straightened up and steadied myself.

It's now or never.

"I'm scared of you getting hurt." I began, "Because you always put others before yourself. I'm scared that I won't always be there to protect you. Or I'll be too weak to do so." I gave a portion of my signature smirk and then continued, "I'm scared that either Beastboy or Starfire would finally drive you crazy and you'll just snap."

She pulled her left hand to wipe her face, and somehow managed a smile. But it didn't stay on her face for too long.

"I'm scared that I'll one day lose you."

"That's not going to happen." she declared, strongly amidst the tiny remnants of tremble in her voice, "We can take on anything, so long as we all stick together."

"I know." I said, "but that's not what I mean."

"I can hold my own. You know I can. AND save your life in the process." The jest in her tone was relieving.

"You always do. What I mean is, one day I'll lose you as my friend." I couldn't stop my voice from trembling. With all the death defying feats I've accomplished I've never been so frightened in my life as I am now. But I kept hold on her, as it felt like she was keeping my will intact.

I have to do this.

"I'm scared that I might wake up one day and have this huge distance between us."

She reached out and joined both hands with me again. "That'll never happen." she said.

"I hope it doesn't."

"What makes you think it might?"

She leaned her face towards mine and tilted her head. She was worried, curious, and I'm sure she's dying to reassure me right now that none of these pointless fears would come to past.

I gave a squeeze on the ball our hands have formed, like this was the last time I'll be able to touch her. Like she was going away. Like I'm about to give her a reason to.

Am I?

Only one way to find out.

I pulled my hands gently away, and peeled my mask off. In her wide, surprised eyes, and saw myself. Despite the blush, and the smile I was giving, I looked very much afraid.

"Because one day, I'll finally tell you how much I love you." I said softly, surely, letting every word flow through and to her, "And when that day comes, I'm scared you will no longer be my friend. That the things I enjoy the most - your company, your wit, your touch, your strength, and the smile and affection you always hide - I'd lose them all."

I kept still for a moment, and so did she. We just stared at one another, and I struggled to keep myself from being too comfortable.

The sun had completely set at this point, but we had urban lights from nearby buildings and billboards. They were soft enough to keep us in the shadows, bright enough for me to see every single beautiful detail of her face.

Finally, I took a deep breath, and composed my heart.

"We - we should probably get back home. It's my turn to make dinner, and I don't want Starfire taking over for me." I said, as casually as I could, despite my shaky voice. I stood up and turned the other way, but somehow I couldn't find the first step away from her.

I can't just brush it off like this. I've now broken the seal keeping my greatest fear in check, and now...

I looked at my hands. They were shaking.

Then, two smaller ones crawled on my arms, and found their place in each of my palm. She held them tight, and I instantly stopped shaking. I felt her breath at the back of my neck - it was soothing, and a deep, withheld breath escaped me.

"Don't be afraid, Richard." she whispered. Her hands, still capturing mine, moved towards my waist where she encased me in a tight hug. "Don't be afraid."

I feel like shrinking into her arms. I want her to take more of me in this embrace.

Slowly, I turned to her, making sure she kept her arms around me. I slowly drew myself closer to her so that our noses were touching. I reached my arms around and hugged her back, careful at the slightest apprehension from her. But she welcomed it. Her breath was steady, and she was looking at me in the same adorable way I love, the kind of look that deceives the common eye.

"Have you ever felt afraid, Rae?"

Our foreheads leaned against one another, and I felt like the empath was healing so many parts of me.

"Yeah." she answered softly, "I'm afraid Beastboy's antics would grow on me one day."

I chuckled.

"I used to be afraid all the time." she continued, more seriously this time. "Until I met you. And you gave me courage. I've never been afraid since. Until the thought came that YOU would be afraid of me."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be." she said, her face inching forward in the slightest ways. My eyes fluttered almost to a close while I felt the warn moisture of her breath from her lips ever so close to mine, coming closer and closer still, "Turned out, we were afraid of the same thing."

Her hand crawled up to my side, to my chest, until they reached my neck where she pulled me deeper into the kiss. I found a wonderful place on her waist, and was taking into memory the kind of tiny sexiness she had, while savoring the flavor of her lips

We parted slowly from the tender kiss, and I got to see the hues of red concentrated on her cheeks. I would've teased her right then and there if I didn't feel like I was blushing just as much.

Still, I managed a devious smirk to take lead.

"Do you love me, Rae?"

The affection in her eyes took a sharp shape. She didn't answer, but instead buried her face on my neck, the thin strands of her hair tickling my nose and making me laugh slightly.

"You're supposed to be smart, boy wonder." she said, voice girdled against my skin. "You should've known the answer to that by now."

I laughed, and squeezed her tighter to me. I could feel both our heartbeats as we stood there, swaying slightly like we were in a diminutive dance in the shadows. Her lavender scent filled my senses and I breathed more of her in.

"I've dreamed about this, you know." she whispered, resting her chin on my shoulder, sounding more peaceful and content than she had ever been.

"Me too." I said, "My dream's a bit kinkier than this, though."

Her body folded a bit in my arms, like she was trying to hide in me or something.

"Perv."

"Hey, it's either me being afraid of you, or me having the hots for you." I defended subtly.

"That's a stupid logic."

After a while, she pushed herself from me, stared at my eyes for what felt longer than how it probably was, and pulled my neck for another kiss, a bit more aggressive this time. I couldn't help the slight chuckle underneath her small mouth deeply pressing against mine. I managed to pull away just enough to whisper a breathless 'I love you', and for her to do the same, without having to part our lips.

I pulled my long cape across, and behind her like. It gave her a soft cushion as I guide her to the floor, one arm scouring the smooth length of her thighs, the other holding the cape in place. I trailed the kiss from her lips, to her chin, to her neck, and back again.

Carefully I laid her down and looked at her, feeling so much love for her I would probably explode. Her hair was a tousle of adorable mess. She was panting slightly when she opened her eyes and smiled at me.

"Richard," she whispered.

Stupid that earlier logic may be as she said, she still happily humored me with the later prospect, and with her touch, her warmth, the intense, raspy hotness of her voice, my fear finally got replaced by the surety of her love, and by my growing love for her.

I hope I remember getting take out on our way home.

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the end

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A couple of misalignment from the actual show, perhaps. I hope you'd excuse them.

Reviews are welcome and are very much appreciated


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